This story reports on a new study from Harvard which says that 40 percent of parents have not talked to their kids about safe sex practices before they are sexually active.

Two thirds of sons in the study said they had not talked about using a condom with a parent before have sex.

The only parents who may find this topic easier than others—or a bit easier—are health care professionals.

But because it is easier for the parents does not seem to make it any easier for their kids.

One friend, a prominent maternal-child health nurse practitioner, would explain anything to any of her daughter’s friends who asked. Her daughter begged her to stop.

Another, a physician, would inquire about what his teenagers’ friends were really up to. His children would be appalled, he said, telling him that these things were “none of my business.” In fact, he was trying to open up the topic any way he could. “Some are direct. Some absolutely do not want to talk to a medical parent when they become sexually active. It is hard to predict,” he says.

Another challenge for parents, in addition to the routine awkwardness which is common, may be their own sex histories. Some parents do not want to have to answer questions about what they did at the same age. Others who have been through bitter divorces may be reluctant to discuss sex because a child could leap to conclusions about their parents’ private relationship that clouds this important issue.

There are a number of excellent resources for parents to consult first.

However, as one mother learned the hard way, they often are ready sooner than parents think. Her older daughter was taking a school sex-ed course. Her younger sister kept asking what she was learning. Her mother kept saying they would talk later.

No need. The younger child simply went into her big sister’s room, got the textbook and read it herself.

“My mother warned me,” she said, “when they start asking you before you bring it up, you are already behind. Boy, was she right.”

ABC News

“When Cooper Schwartz was 13, his parents were the last people on Earth he wanted to talk to about sex.

“Given that his mother, Pepper Schwartz, is a sex educator and co-author of “Ten Talks Parents Must Have With Their Children About Sex and Character,” sex had always been a subject for open discussion. But when he hit puberty, “it was ‘anyone but you’ for a few years,” Pepper Schwartz said.

“No one ever said that talking to your kids about sex was easy — especially when the talk about the birds and bees turns to things like sexually transmitted diseases, birth control or masturbation — but that’s no excuse to put off the discussion, Schwartz says.”

Source: ABC News, December 7, 2009