Books

The news of today is that, in 2006, there was a widespread trend of births to teen-aged mothers—affecting all regions, although there are some variations.

It remains to be seen whether this is a one-year change or not but, for any family, when one baby is born to one of their teenagers, trends don’t matter much.

The causes are complex and intertwined. It is very hard to tease apart big demographic shifts which happen abruptly in a responsible way. People will generalize, however, based on where they are coming from. Generalizations don’t help the kids any.

This isn’t a new book but if you are concerned about the issue of teenagers and sexual experiences which are beyond what’s appropriate for their ages, here is a book for you.

Unhooked: How Young Women Pursue Sex, Delay Love and Lose at Both, by Laura Sessions Stepp.

The book’s author followed three groups of young females—one group in high school and two in college—to find out what these girls are thinking about sex, love and relationships.

This book is rigorous in its research, both in face-to-face interview time as well as the literature.

Many adults thought going out in groups, now the norm, was kinder and easier than dating. They are friends first, get to know each other, we clueless adults thought.

No, kids see dating as “slow” and “cumbersome,” she writes.

“Long-term relationships and romance are seen as not only time-consuming but also messy and complicated,” Stepp writes.

Whether these comments apply to the young girls who went on to be mothers or not, we shall see. Stepp was writing about dating, not teen pregnancy.

However, as the goal of most adults is to encourage teenagers to prepare themselves for parenthood by being mature enough and educated enough to nuture a child, understanding the dating mores of the present is important, however disturbing you may find it to be.

Grandparents and other relatives who have influence with teenagers in their families ought to read this book, too.

A young person needs as many trustworthy adults to talk to as possible. It’s hard to predict who will be around at an important time.

Source: Unhooked: How Young Women Pursue Sex, Delay Love and Lose at Both, by Laura Sessions Stepp. Riverhead Books. 2007. Hardback. $24.95