News

By Cheree Cleghorn, Editor

This story shows why laws about slander, defamation and libel, which work in the real world, are incapable of dealing with the same acts online.

In the real world, anyone who has evidence of the above can act to stop it. People have a sense of what’s “over the line” in the real world. Merely telling the offender that this is slander often is enough to stop it on the spot.

This is not true in the wild world of the web.
Therein lies tragedy.

The Washington Post Technology section reported on how posts on a social network page led to the suicide of a young teen-aged girl, after an orchestrated campaign flooded her, ending with: “This world would be better off without you.”

That was how it ended. Here’s how it started, The Post story said.

“A handsome high school boy was flirting on MySpace.com. Josh Evans told Megan Meier she had pretty eyes, that he thought she was cute. Megan excitedly messaged back.

“On the Internet, she could be cool. Thirteen had been miserable, but that fall Megan had fled the jeering hallways of West Middle School, and the outcast misery of a fat girl trying to fit in. Enrolled in a small parish school, she was reinventing herself: She had joined the volleyball team and lost 20 pounds. Her parents were relieved to hear Megan’s bubbly laugh again. Fourteen promised to be better.

“But in the course of two hours on a rainy Monday afternoon, Megan Meier suddenly became a target once more, hounded and publicly humiliated by a teenage mob on the Web, set upon in a virtual Lord of the Cyberflies.

“Her parents found her body at dinnertime.”

Later, when the facts about what preceded the suicide came out, a different campaign began. People wanted to punish those who had sent all those e-mails. Internet stalking ensued, with searchers trying to find out all about those associated with this teenager’s social network-related suicide.

That is no better than what happened to this young girl. Vigilantes are outlaws. Period.

What You Can Do

1. Speak to your teenager’s doctor. What is going on in your community? Although a one-time episode like this can happen any time, schools and communities have cultures. Pediatricians and adolescent medicine specialists are especially attuned to the word on the street about this kind of activity. So do school counselors, when they don’t feel pressured to be politically correct.

2. If you see a change in the teenager’s behavior, a change which would concern you whatever the reason, get in action. For instance, families know kids who are using drugs tend to be withdrawn. Bullying, which is what this was, is hard enough for kids face-to-face. Cyberspace bullying, which is faceless, is even more insidious.

3. If you know your teen-ager is going through a rough time at this stage, get specific advice from the doctor about what’s “normal” teenage angst or rebellion and what should start alarm bells ringing.

4. Make sure the teenager knows that, whatever the situation may be, and however much you may not like what you are going to hear, when your teenagers tells you the truth, you will help deal with it. First, guide them through getting themselves out of whatever they’re into. Second, you can deal with consequences when heads are cooler. Make telling the truth an act which can help relieve their burdens and get them what they need: you. They may need professional counseling. That doesn’t mean you’ve failed. Getting help quickly can protect your child.

5. Ask your teenager what’s going on with friends who are online. Act as if you want to understand how it all works. You may learn a lot. “So, Megan, like got really mad…and she sent mean IMs to all of us …”

6. This is the world in which the IM’ing generation will live so cutting off access isn’t the answer. Guidance about how to make one’s way in the world is what trusted adults can do for teenagers.

Bottom Lines

This is about bullying, albeit in cyberspace.

If you think or know your child does not handle bullies well, work on that. Bullies are cowards dressed up in overbearing confidence.

If you think this teenager is in a rough patch, use every available resource to distinguish between “that’s how it is” versus “this could be trouble brewing.”

Ten years ago—-so this problem is not new—-a close friend noticed her daughter, a great kid, was too quiet. Much too quiet. Fortunately, she and her husband are medical professionals. She went to work to find out what was going on. It was online bullying. She went to the school, whose counselor said, “I think I know who this is.” Twenty-four hours later, the counselor said, “We can’t do anything about it.” What they discovered would have scared any parents, much less ones who are caregivers and knew the risks.

My friend and her husband told the counselor that they had the professional tools to help their child and would be removing her from that school right away.

“…But what about all the other kids?”

The counselor had no answer.

Source: The Washington Post, Technology, January 9, 2008